Go Ask Alice...To Flip a F-ing Table Over If She Has To Answer This Bullshit Again
So, I was googling "Lady Orgasm" just to see what might pop up to quickly write about - cause, hey, you never know what "Lady Orgasm" might bring you. And, seriously, I need to get a post up quick cause I ain't got the time right now, ya'll. Anyway, Columbia University has a site called Columbia Health, and there is section called Go Ask Alice! that answers peoples (probably mostly student's) health questions. Well, the first page of my google search took me to a grouping of these questions originally published in 2001 about women not feeling much from vaginal intercourse. Here are the questions.
(1)Dear Alice,I am a sexually active female, but I can't reach orgasm when having sex with my boyfriend. Can you help me out? Thanks.— Yearning(2)Hello Alice,I am 28 years old. I've had a problem for years now; well, I had this problem all my life and I was too ashamed to seek help. Here it goes: during sexual intercourse, I never feel any sensation or tingling feelings, I feel nothing. I can feel the penis, but that is all. This has been with every guy I've been with and I've been with about 15 guys. I'm currently dating this guy for five years. I love him, but during sex, I feel nothing. He turns me on, and I get aroused, but when it comes to actually having sex, I feel NOTHING. It's like I have a disjunction in my vagina. Does it have something to do with my clitoris? What is wrong with me? Please, can you tell me? I will eventually see a doctor, but I just want to know, what is the problem with me? Please, I would really appreciate it, I've kinda learned to live with it. Sad, right? :)— C(3)Dear Alice,Yet again, another question about intercourse and (female) orgasms. I am 25 and have been having intercourse for about 1 1/2 years and have never experienced even the remotest possibility of climaxing from intercourse. Intercourse does NOTHING for me. I've read the Hite Report, I know it claims that only 30% of women orgasm from intercourse alone; however, most women who say they don't orgasm from intercourse say that they at least receive some arousal or stimulation or pleasure from the sensation--it just doesn't lead them to orgasm. However, I have never received the SLIGHTEST sexual pleasure from intercourse--and it's making me so unhappy and desperate that I feel I'm going insane.— Searching for pleasure(4)Dear Alice,What is the best way for a woman with an inaccessible clitoris to reach orgasm during intercourse, without artificial stimulation?
So Alice answers by basically telling them that the vagina doesn't have much nerve endings and that not much is going to happen if the clit isn't involved. She recommends working with one's partner to find ways to make the damn thing happen, trying woman-on-top positions for better freedom, adding sex toys, and reading up for more ideas - you know, that kind of thing.
Honestly, she gives a good answer, it's better than a lot I've seen but I just can't help but feel that we need more. Saying kinda softly to frustrated ladies that most women don't orgasm from vaginal stimulation, and that we should just explore more with our partners and that "if you are generally satisfied with your sexual activity, there is no need to be dismayed by your lack of vaginal sensation or feel pressured to feel pleasure or orgasm during intercourse," is nice and true, but man, it feels like bullshit. It feels like it's bullshit to even be having this discussion. It feels like this is bullshit that the women are the ones fretting about this "personal" issue when it should be our whole society fretting about how we could possibly have gone so long teaching and depicting female orgasm so incorrectly. It's bullshit, and we should be a little madder about it and a little more vocal. We, as a society, should be really hearing all these women asking questions about their orgasms and realizing that women as a whole are suffering because of this cultural ignorance.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents. And, ya know, I have talked to many people who say they didn't even know that people still worry about the whole vaginal orgasm vs. clitoral orgasm thing anymore, and they don't think it's much of an issue. I wonder sometimes, but then I see things like this that remind me women do struggle with this on the regular. Us ladies might not call it vag vs. clit issue. We might not even know about Freud saying clitoral orgasms were infantile. We just know about what society has made us feel is normal, and then we have to somehow make that fit with what we actually feel in our bodies. We all find different ways to deal with it, but it all stems from the fact that vaginal orgasms are deeply ingrained in us as normal and/or highly desirable; that, oddly enough, female bodies (not some but as far as we know all female bodies) are not able to orgasm vaginally; and that no one seems to be screaming out about this insane discrepancy, so it's as if none of this is an issue at all - just women needing to figure out our own personal sexual struggles... It's bullshit.
However, like I said before, the answer HERE was good and more progressive than most, so it gets a 4 out of 5 vulva rating!
(!)(!)(!)(!)