The Ol' 'My Wife Don't Have Sex With Me No More' Schtick
I was watching an old Louis C.K. stand-up special from 2008 last night, and he had a running joke about how his wife will never have sex with him ever again. This is not a new genre of joke. There is a long-standing stereotype that wives stop having sex once they become wives. It's part of the larger genre of jokes about women simply being less sexual. If you ask me, I think there is an underlying issue here that is regularly ignored.
In the show Louis C.K. talked about how at first he was like (and these are not actual quotes), "why would she do this to me? Why would she stop having sex with me?" Then as he got older and more mature in his marriage, he flipped his thinking to, "How did she put up with having sex with me for so damn long? I mean she must have taken about 500 for the team up to this point." He was, as is the comedian way, being self deprecating and referring to his overall (lack of) attractiveness including the disgustingness of his genital area and his fat-assness, both of which he discussed in great detail earlier in the show.
That's all well and good I guess. I mean, he's not my cup of tea, but he's not hideous. I think someone who loved him could easily get into doin' him dirty style. I think he, and so many other comedians miss the point (and miss some unique joke angles too).
He started in the right direction later, when he was discussing how men and women were different. He says men will have sex with a woman even if he's not really in the mood for having sex. Men will make that shit work. Women can decide that they are not in the mood almost any time - including while they are having sex. He jokes that while he's in the midst of sex, someone could show them a picture of his mother with her head ripped off, and he'd basically finish up before getting to that piece of information. Women, on the other hand, just aren't made that way. He then gets even closer to the point when he says he just has a need to come. He needs to come like every day. Then he goes on to joke about masturbation and stuff.
But, back to coming...I'm just gonna put this idea out there. Maybe this stereotype about wives exists because women just don't orgasm very much during sex. And ...it's actually true. They don't. Most women don't orgasm from intercourse and only about 1/3 (give or take) of women say they orgasm most of the time or always during sex. Men...well, men mostly do orgasm during sex - at teh very least - it's more common that it is for the ladies.
After the excitement and elation of the first sexual experiences with someone fades away, after the emotion of a new love ain't so new anymore, what's all that exciting about sex? Oh yeah - the orgasm, and if that ain't happening all that much, do we really have to think too hard about why so many wives have no problem avoiding sex? Is it so hard to see that it's no biggie to opt out of sex, even during the sex act, if you're not on the way to coming during that act? I mean without that orgasm it's just a hurdle to climb before you get to go to sleep…and a mess up in your hoo-hoo. I mean it really is just takin' one for the team.