Beauty Jackson Blogs Some Truth!
I came across a post on BlogHer by Beauty Jackson called My Body, My Orgasm, My Choice. It's about being honest with yourself and potential partners when it comes to sex; being honest about what you desire from the sexual relationship, ignoring others' judgements, trusting your instincts, and also accepting that any type of sexual relationship can be positive if it starts from honesty. It's a good read. I recommend checking it out HERE.
Why do I tell you about this blog? I like to highlight posts I see on the ol' interwebs that I think have some type of contribution to the Orgasm Equality Movement. This post by Beauty Jackson is a little bit of an unorthodox pick for me because it doesn't specifically discuss or depict details of female sexual release. What it does, however, is approach female sex drive in terms of orgasm, and that's not usually how I see that subject framed, although I do so wish I saw it more.
Too often, discussions of women and sex focus on the emotional and psychological, and they shy away from considering purely physical reasons for desiring or engaging in sexy time. Discussions of men and sex, on the other hand, tend to over emphasize the purely physical aspects of sexual drive. I feel like this typical way our culture views female vs. male sexual drive feeds into the idea that the physical pleasure of an orgasm is simply not that important to women, and certainly not as important as it is for men (why, we ladies can be sure nuff sexually satisfied by the emotional closeness while getting banged or by romantic dinners - or something to that effect). Like I say often in this blog, downplaying the importance of orgasm for women is just a cover for ignoring the extreme ignorance in our culture about how women actually, physically orgasm and a way to overlook how few orgasms women actually have in partnered sexual situations.
In my mind, a voice that is speaking about females and sex with an eye towards our desire for orgasm, is a wonderful counter balance to most of the media out there.
So ask yourself, “What is it that I actually want?” The answer might be, “Something lasting and meaningful.” But sometimes, when it’s cold, quiet and rainy and you have nothing else to do, the answer to that question is, “An orgasm,” so you slip into that mo’ better to pass the time. And you know what? There’s not a thing in this world wrong with that.
What particularly struck me in her post was that she didn't simply make a connection between female desire and vague notions of physical pleasure, she used the word orgasm. It probably shouldn't be, but I think it's still a bold move to straight up connect female desire to an orgasm. It seems more raw and dirty than just talking about sexual pleasure - which conjures up more sweet and sensual images of oil massages and gentle kisses to the neck. "Pleasure" does not necessarily include the physical pleasure enjoyed from a grunty, sweaty, selfish orgasm. So I give props to Beauty Jackson for being real, beccause honestly, I know some romantic touching and kissing feels nice, but if we didn't also expect to have an orgasm, I don't think it'd take too long before the idea of sex got a little boring. When we're plain and simple horny ladies, it's an orgasm that's gonna scratch that itch - not some sensual skin on skin contact alone, am I right?
Anyway, I liked Beauty Jackson's style. I think if we had more women openly discussing sexual desire, we might have more women beginning to feel entitled to desire sexual activity in whatever way they choose, and maybe, just maybe, also feel entitled to do whatever needs to be done during those sex acts to get themselves an orgasm. Then, my ladies, we'd really start to be on the road towards orgasm equality.