Re-Naming Non-orgasms
Okay, this will be quick cause I'm still as swamped at work as I was before Christmas, so let me just throw some thing out there that I've been thinking about.
As you know, I think it's important that when we speak about orgasms in women, we are actually meaning an orgasm; a sudden and rhythmic release of muscle tension and blood congestion that was built up through arousal. I'm talking about the Masters and Johnson defined orgasms, an actual, physical thing. We generally use this meaning when we, as a culture, speak of male orgasm. It's kind of a given for men. However with women, that meaning of orgasm is often casually intermixed with "orgasms" that are actually ejaculations/squirting or some other type of emotional/spiritual climax, or often the word orgasm is used interchangeably with pleasure or arousal in women.
I mean, come on here, words and clarity matter. If we just use the same word, ‘orgasm,’ to describe a variety of experiences, then any advice, research, or descriptions of it frankly becomes so broad in scope that it is useless in any practical sense. More than that it becomes confusing to know or express anything even slightly concrete about any of the varied experiences engulfed inside word. It’s a problem, and if you wonder why advisors and google searches are still inundated with the same questions women have been seeking advice on for at least the last 75 years (how do I orgasm? What is an orgasm? Have I had an orgasm? Am I broken? Why can’t I orgasm? How do I orgasm with my boyfriend? and on and on), let me assure you that this refusal within our culture to create clarity of language around female orgasm is a huge part of that. It stunts both culture and personal knowledge growth (I’m talking to you sexperts and sex researchers).
That said, let's think of other names to call these non-orgasms. I mean, I'm not against these things. Enjoy, what you enjoy. I just think they should not be confused with an orgasm. So, what should we call the emotional high that some might refer to as an orgasm?...an emotigasm? giddygasm? How about the spiritual/ universe-is-one/seeing-colors-and-stars-moving-through-you sexual highs you always hear women on message boards talking about? Godgasms? unigasms? We should just call ejaculations and squirting, ejaculations and squirting probably, since that's what they are. Oh, and for the love of all that is good in the world, pleasure should not continue being used interchangeably with orgasm. Yes, orgasm can (and pretty likely will be) pleasurable, but all sexual pleasure is not orgasm - not by a long shot.
One final ask here: If you hear someone (a friend, a sexpert, a doctor) talking about something like how they attain orgasm or how you should, and you're not sure if they are specifically meaning a physical orgasm or squirting or just sexual pleasure or something else completely, then ask, because that's the only way we'll get people to become more clear.
Anyway, we need some clear language to use for the other not-orgasm sexual experiences that get lumped together for females (males do not have to deal with this kind of confusing language near as much), because they are spoken about, and it'd be nice if we knew what sexperts and ladies speaking about their own and others’ experiences are actually talking about. All ideas are welcome.