Screw the Psychological, Hormonal, and Emotional Bull the Sexperts Keep Spitting Out
I want to just clear something up. I'm bored and annoyed with hearing about the psychological, hormonal, and emotional aspects of orgasm problems women face. Frankly, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that there can be psychological, hormonal, and emotional aspects of orgasm problems (for men and women). I just think they are secondary to a larger very basic problem that women face when it comes to orgasm.
That problem is that women simply don't fully understand the physical aspects of their orgasm. Almost every aspect of our culture misrepresents the physical stimulation needed for a woman to orgasm. From the depictions and discussions we are exposed to through TV, movies, book, and pop lore, it seems that the basic act of intercourse is sufficient for orgasm. Although we may be made aware that clitoral stimulation is important to female pleasure - it is at best discussed as something most women need to orgasm (leaving us with the assumption that there is a better more sexual female minority out there to compare ourselves to who are living the dream and just orgasming from getting screwed). At worst clitoral stimulation is discussed as merely another way to arouse (as if clitoral stimulation is just a form of foreplay - equal to kissing the neck or rubbing the breasts).
Let me be clear. Clitoral stimulation, however direct or indirect it may be, is what causes orgasm in women in the same way that penile stimulation causes orgasm in men. This point is simply not clear to most people, and it should be very very clear. In my mind, that should be the first thing that is brought up when shows or well known magazines have a special about women who can't orgasm or who feel they don't orgasm easily enough. It never is though. Clitoral stimulation is only ever discussed in the ways I pointed out earlier.
So, every time I hear someone advise a frustrated woman that she may have a hormonal imbalance, that she doesn't have enough testosterone, that she may not be with the right guy or that she needs to be in a more committed relationship, that she hasn't opened herself up fully to her feelings, or that she's too obsessed with the need to orgasm (which they tell her women are simply less equip to do) or any other psychological, hormonal, or emotional crap, I want to say, "maybe you should ask her if she's tried to stimulate her clit, you sexpert assholes." I mean honestly, it's like living in a world where normal "sex" involves men rubbing the base of their penis in circles on women's clits until women come, and then when men complain that they have a hard time orgasming, we tell them that they are simply not relaxing enough, or they might need to take testosterone supplements, or don't worry about it - men are just not built to come as easily as women are. It's so f###ing stupid. Just thought I'd give you a bit of a rant to start your work week off right!