A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D: The SSL Review
It's no secret that I am a Harold
and Kumar fan. I fell in love when they were going to White Castle. I enjoyed
their visit to Guantanamo Bay, and have recently spent Christmas Eve (in 3D)
with them. I have a strong appreciation of the Harold and Kumar comedy style.
It is comedy for comedy sake. There is no explaining, dwelling, or questioning.
As an audience member, you must just...go with it. I know it’s not everybody's
cup of tea, but A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D made me laugh…oh I laughed,
and that’s exactly what I wanted and expected.
But that’s not why I’m here. SSL
reviews critique specific depictions or discussions of female sexual response.
Not every movie contains this. A lot of movies have sex in them, but stop before
any indication about how the woman physically responds to it. So, when there is a
movie that shows or specifically talks about a woman’s orgasm or lack of orgasm
or anywhere in between, I have to write about it. What do we know or can we
assume was physically happening to elicit or not elicit the response? What was insinuated? How does it fit into our
cultural understanding of how females are supposed to respond sexually? Etc.
The depiction that occurred in
Harold and Kumar was quick and classic. At a party full of rich high school
kids (cause why wouldn’t H&K be there) someone is opening doors while looking
for something (vague enough?), and sees random activities going on behind
closed doors. Let’s just say there are a lot of drugs at this party. One door reveals
some sex. A guy is laying face up on a bed and a gal is bouncing up and down on
top of him. I’d call it cowgirl style. She’s straddling him with her knees on
the bed. Her face is towards his, but she is sitting straight up; her body
perpendicular to his. Unsurprisingly, she is vocalizing in a screamy moany porn
style as if she were orgasming, and her hands are up. The door quickly shuts.
Okay, so it’s a classic party scene
to have in a movie. But, here’s the deal. There
was no contact between her vulva/clitoral area and his body. Her hands were up, so we know she wasn’t touching her clit, and his hands were not near it
either. That means she must have been orgasming through intercourse alone; as audience members we can assume that the simple act of moving the penis in and out of the vagina was
making her scream like a porn star. Or, you might be thinking, we can just take it as a
silly exaggerated scene in a silly exaggerated movie. I know
it’s a small scene in a goofy, don’t-take-this-too-seriously kind of movie, but
this is not an isolated depiction. This is a scene that takes its place among
many many similar scenes that make up our cultural lore about how and why females
experience orgasm. It is a standard way to show wild, young, unbridled sex; a
woman bouncing on a penis and having the orgasm of her life. The problem is that
most women do not orgasm at all during intercourse, and the majority (I would
argue all) of women who do orgasm during intercourse do not orgasm because of penis
friction inside the vagina. They orgasm because their clit/vulva area (the actual
organ of female sexual pleasure) is also being stimulated in some way. I would
(and do in Science Sex and the Ladies) argue that there has never ever been 1 study
that physically records a woman having an orgasm due to friction inside the
vagina. There have been recorded instances of ejaculation (which may be
enjoyable to some of the women who have them, but are something physically
different than an orgasm), and there have been instances where weak orgasms occurred
because the movement of the penis in the vagina pulled vulva skin around the
clit causing clitoral stimulation, and subsequently, an orgasm. However, these
are admittedly – by the researchers – uncommon and the weakest orgasms these
women were recorded having (the strongest being through masturbation). It may seem trivial, but
when women and girls, men and boys, see these seemingly harmless depictions so
often, we all start getting the wrong ideas about what to do and what to expect
during a sexual encounter.
So, although Harold and Kumar did
nothing worse (at least within this topic) than depict a status quo Hollywod
depiction of female sexual release, it is still problematic because it simply
adds credibility to incorrect cultural lore. It seems strange to imagine it,
but what if men were shown as orgasming due to anal penetration over 90% of the
time that sex was depicted. What if it was so common that it showed up in
movies like Harold and Kumar. Probably, people would kinda know that all men
couldn’t orgasm that way. Some men need added penile stimulation in order to come (like we know some women still need added clitoral stimulation). However, it would somehow make sense that some men could orgasm just from something moving in and out of his anus, I mean some
men can ejaculate by massaging the prostate through the anus, so men can
probably orgasm that way too, right?
That’s how far off we are on
depictions of female sexual response; so far off that no one seems to notice. And
Harold and Kumar, while being quite helpful to Santa Clause, are no help on
this one.
I’ll give them 3 vulvas for a lack of
imagination and reality in depicting female sexual response, but without any ill
intent.
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