Frigidity, Kick-Ass Colombian Journalists, and Some Thank Yous

I woke up Tuesday to a tweet from a lovely woman named Patricia Sulburan who is an international editor for a big Colombian radio chain called W Radio. She was interested in doing an interview, and after I realized she meant the country and not like Columbia University or something, I wrote back and she asked me to do a live radio interview the next day. I'll be honest, I don't feel like speaking is my forte. I'm much better at writing, so I was super nervous and I was practicing in my car and trying to figure out what they'd ask, but in the end it was actually really fun. Patricia was my translator and Claudia Palacios and Rafael Manzano interviewed me (You can hear it HERE...I didn't realize till later that something I think might be The Love Boat theme played behind the whole interview...which is about as awesome as I could imagine). How many times are you interviewed on Colombia radio, am I right?...so I was really stoked that I got that opportunity, but I wasn't quite sure how they heard about the movie and why they wanted to interview me. Turns out a Colombian journalist named Paola Ochoa wrote an editorial in the the largest circulating newspaper in Colombia, El Tiempo, about Science, Sex and the Ladies.

Patricia Sulburan - International Producer Extraordinaire!

Paola Ochoa - Journalist Extraordinaire!

Feel free to Google translate this article...oh wait, I already did, and ya know, it kinda made sense. From what I could tell it had a really fight-the-power, let's-start-a-revolution kinda tone to it. She started out talking about how far women have come and how many amazing, important things women have done this year, but then she says some really, really, really nice things about Science, Sex and the Ladies.

I'm quoting this below as a Google translation of Paola Ochoa's article, so it's not great English, but I didn't want to try and clean it up and misrepresent something she was trying to say, so just take it for what it is...a bad translation (and BTW, Google Translate doesn't really do gender pronouns right...it's a gender revolutionist I guess). ***Edit - I found out the article is in English on Ochoa's Tumbler. Check it out HERE

But if something has seemed truly representative of the new feminine power is a much talked about documentary females (see the trailer at this link: https://vimeo.com/32292858). Lasts 1 hour, 40 minutes, and it is a phenomenon in Apple TV. Trisha Borowicz his production is a brilliant scientist biologist who has dedicated his life to studying the female orgasm, tired of so many bad powders. 

With a fabulous visual narrative, Borowicz achieved what seemed impossible: 2,000 years of sexism shake off and demonstrate scientific evidence that there are no frigid women. On the contrary, that there are ignorant men or bad lovers. 

The documentary is awakening a quiet revolution. And nothing reveals more women on the planet that the topic of anorgasmia. We all at some point in life we ​​are unable to have an orgasm. We feel a huge embarrassment and even think we are factory defective. And then we pretend. And then we lie. All because of the alleged frigidity, the lapidary notion that men invented to hide their own incompetence lovemaking. 

Borowicz manages to remove that plaque off and testing with several scientific studies, frigidity is not a problem of the genital organs of women. Frigidity does not exist. It is a term that men invented to maintain appropriate misogyny of Aristotle and Augustine for another couple of centuries more. It is the most powerful weapon of machismo and, simultaneously, the most power over us.

She goes on to discuss in a very hopeful way that men have had control of women's sexuality for years, and they are still very much in control of the imagery in porn, but we ladies dominate most social media. We have a place now to discuss our sexuality freely and take back control of our own sexuality and our own sexual images. She ends with this (in bad Google Translator speak)...

Fortunately, women are facing a new world that empowers us. Thanks to the freedom of social networks, we have a space where our opinions are expressed without male issue. 

It is time to take away the yoke off. Finally we have a voice. And finally we have also the ultimate proof that the best orgasm is only in our hands: Science, Sex and the Ladys; True Story About the Female Orgasm.

I mean, this was a little overwhelming. I am so thrilled that SSL made her feel this way and excited to see that there are women all over the world that are ready for a change. I also think that Paola is totally brave and bad-ass. From what I can tell from her article, from the comments on the article (I google translated them too..and people are just as ass-hole like in Colombia as they are in USA in case you were wondering) and from the interview I did on the radio, Colombia has all the same problems and misunderstandings about female orgasms and female sexuality that the U.S.A does, but that maybe the idea of women being frigid is a little more ingrained in their current culture.

Now, I say that with hesitance, because in the USA the idea that women should orgasm from only vaginal stimulation and that if she doesn't she is lesser in some way, is very much alive and well.  The word Frigid, which is a Freudian term for women that cannot orgasm vaginally and thus have not matured fully, is used sometimes in the USA now, but more with a connotation of just a not very sexual woman. In the USA in the 70's, frigid was still very commonly used in the Freudian way. I see it all the time in books about female orgasm from the time. However, just because frigid isn't used in this way doesn't mean it has left our culture. Saying a woman is frigid is a very straightforward way to say a woman is broken sexually, and that is not common in the USA, but saying women are sexually broken in all kinds of backhanded, subtle ways is very, very common. We say women who can't orgasm during intercourse are hormonally imbalanced, too stressed, not very sexual, or emotionally distracted. We still act as if it is their fault they can't orgasm this way, and if they just tried harder they could do it. So the more subtle ways we speak about women being sexually broken in the USA seems less harsh, but it is no less harmful.

But, I think the word "frigid" hold more power there. In my radio interview, the journalists kept asking about if women were frigid or not. They wanted a clear answer, and I guess I didn't realize until then how new saying women weren't frigid was. And knowing that now, I feel like Paola's article is even more revolutionary. She straight up said that women are not frigid and that it's bullshit that women were ever even made to endure that title.

To Paola Ochoa:

Thank you, thank you thank you! You introduced the ideas from Science, Sex and the Ladies to a huge group of people who may have never heard of them. You were bold and straightforward and honest, and I could not agree more with you that this inequality that exists between women and men due to misunderstandings about female orgasm and female sexuality is the most powerful and has the most power over us. That is why it is so hard to confront but so important. You are awesome, and a true Orgasm Equality Hero!

To Patricia Sulburan:

You didn't have to take Paola's article seriously, and you didn't have to find me and do all the work it takes to get this story on the radio, but you did. You brought the message about Frigidity being bullshit to lots more women.  I want you to know it means a lot to me and to the Orgasm Equality Movement. You also are an Orgasm Equality Hero!

*Oh - and I actually didn't realize you could get the movie on Apple TV. It's only available on Vimeo On Demand. I guess you can access that through Apple TV, but I'm not sure. Here's the actual link to the movie at Vimeo On Demand  https://vimeo.com/ondemand/26160