Wanderlust S1Ep1 (2nd part) - The SSL Review

Wanderlust

Listen, I made a mistake. When I SSL Reviewed the first episode of this, I must have just ignored the last part because I missed 2 SSL reviewable parts, and they were pretty good parts, that frankly I'd like to review. So here I am with an addendum to my 1st SSL Review for this show. So quick recap, This show is a British TV series on Netflix. I really liked this show. It involves a long-time married couple's sex life with a little open relationship stuff. There's plenty to SSL Review. I do very much suggest checking it out.  

Please check out the other half of this episode's SSL review HERE. Overall this show has an overall fairly fresh perspective on ladygasms - at least for a TV show. There are maybe a few imperfections, but definitely better than I would normally expect. The first episode got a good SSL Review and this one will have a mixed one. It'll be fairly short (I don't always write a long-winded ass book, okay).  So, enjoy, and go check out this show. I recommend it.

An SSL Review (for those that don't know about them)

Only depiction or discussion of female orgasm and/or female masturbation and/or the clit are eligible for SSL Review. Nothing else counts, including plain 'ol sex if it doesn't include anything listed above. I specifically critique the realism (for instance, were the physical things happening to that women while she orgasmed things that could realistically cause orgasm for a woman?) and also speak on what the depiction/discussion reflects from and adds to the larger cultural discussion around lady-gasms and female sexuality.

You can see all the SSL TV Reviews HERE (and as always you can find all the movie SSL Reviews HERE).

Okay - I'll describe the 2 SSL Reviewable scenes, and then I'll give my thoughts on it, and finally (lucky you) you'll get to see the Vulva Rating. Given that this is what should have been a 2nd part half of an earlier review, I'll take account for that in the final Vulva Rating. 

The First Scene: This isn't sex

This is technically not an SSL Reviewable moment because there is not female orgasm, masturbation or cunnilingus, but I think it's super poignant, and so I'm including it.

If you see in the other part of the review for this episode, Joy and Alan are having trouble seeing eye to eye about having sex. Joy is recovering from an injury for one, and also want more from their sex life than just some missionary in-out. Alan thinks Joy is just trying to avoid sex with him. In this scene, Joy is trying. She put on some new lingerie, waits in their bedroom with candles until he gets home and then has him sit on the bed. He says he's had a day. She sits down next to him and is kind of acting a part asking him about his day and if he's been 'very naughty' and touching him. It's cheesy, but she's going for it. Alan is not playing along and then tells her he's really quite tired. She is a touch taken back but forges on standing up in front of him and telling him she's going to 'wake him up.' She takes off his glasses and shirt as he asks,

Alan: Can I just ask a question before?

Joy: No more talking (she rolls her eyes as she lifts his sweater off and then stands back from him). Okay get up.

Alan: You said no more talking.

Joy: Disobedience will not be tolerated. up.

(She starts taking off his pants and reaching into them. He continues to be uninterested)

Alan: Joy. joy. Joy. Claire walked in on Niel masturbating.

(Joy takes her hand out, slightly annoyed and resigned, and backs away from him)

Alan: I know. I know. I really appreciate the...you know, the attempt, but there's an awful lot on my plate.

Joy: The attempt?

Alan: You know what I mean. It's a lot to take in. I mean...it's elaborate, is all I'm saying.

Joy: Well, I'm sorry my effort to try resuscitate our flatlining sex life 

Alan: Well, now you're just putting words in my mouth.

Joy: I was planning on putting something else in my mouth, but you should be so fucking lucky.

Alan: I don't understand what's happening. So, you're annoyed at me because, what, I'm tired?

Joy: No! I'm disappointed because you're not prepared to..

Alan: What?

Joy: You said you didn't believe I wanted the two of us to have sex.

Alan: So...

Joy: So, I want it on record that you are the one actively resisting intercourse.

Alan: But this isn't sex. If you'd been in bed, and I'd come home, and you said, "Hello Alan, shall we have sex his evening?" I probably would have said, "Yes, Joy, let's. How Lovely." But when I come home after the day I've had...and...

(Joy is actively walking around getting more and more pissed) 

Joy: God, you are so boring!

Alan: Okay, well at least I'm not trying to start a brawl for no reason.

Joy: I don' want to have the same ol' sex. In fact, I refuse!

Alan: Well at least if we were having the same old sex, we would, in fact, be having sex!

Joy: Why don't you want to try something different?

Alan: Because...

Joy: Why can't you see this as an opportunity to try..to. try...

Alan: I'm more than happy to try something new. I just don't want it to be completely and utterly fucking ridiculous.

(She stands for a minute and then just walks away)

The Second Scene: Actual simultaneous orgasms

Okay, here we have a man and a woman. They've really just met, and they start making out passionately. They both unbutton and reach down each other's pants. The pants stay up and nothing else comes off. They stop kissing and are just holding onto each other with one hand and manually stimulating each other with the other hand dipped down into their open jeans. They are clearly going at it and aroused. The hand movements seems sensible for jacking of a penis and rubbing a clit. After a few minutes she comes, and it cuts before we see her finish him off.

The SSL Review Part

The second scene is the kind of thing I always hope to find in my movies and TV. It's hot, wanton sex, but it's not intercourse. It's the kind of sex any two people can do to each other, no matter what parts they got going on down there. It also has equal potential for orgasm...unlike intercourse which has huge potential for the one with the penis and very little to no possibility of orgasm for the one with the vagina because the clit is not being stimulated necessarily during intercourse...and it really should be if you want orgasm to happen, just as the penis really should be stimulated if you want a male to orgasm. 

This is 100% the kind of sex scenes we should be exposed to as young people. I mean, as long as you wash your hands, it's disease free, pregnancy free, and orgasmic. That scenario should feel normal as a random sexual hook-up. Instead most often we see this same sexual energy in a hook-up, but instead with a penis getting rammed into a vagina until they both slump over in bliss - which is just the MOST bullshit. It's reinforcing the lie of sex lives - that banging a vagina with a penis would cause an orgasm for the owner of that vagina. It's not true, but it is what we see...as if fucking is as equally orgasmic as mutual handies. (Seriously, we have a strong, deep sense in sexual culture that one can stimulate a vaginal canal into orgasm and it's simply not something that science has ever observed and it really doesn't seem to exists). 

Point is, this scene showed a hand stimulating the clitoral glans/vulva area to orgasm and that's is as realistic as showing a hand jerking off a penis to orgasm. I really appreciate the realism and (sadly) uniqueness of that scene. 

As for the first scene, I think it's poignant because overall the story of these two married people is that the dude is fine with the way their sex life has always been - some basic intercourse, and the lady is not. It's a tale as old as time, and at its heart is something that is rarely discussed with conviction anywhere - intercourse is orgasmic for the dude but not the lady and that matters very differently to each of those 2 people. 

It's not some psychological thing, or a lessening of emotional intimacy, or anything like that this couple needs to start with. It's that sex that is fun for him is boring/shitty (and gets more boring and more annoying with each go that ends in his, but not her orgasm). So, her trying to spice it us might seem like she's just someone who likes more spice than him, but the truth is she just wants arousing, orgasmic sex. That's spice in and of itself. That dude has been having spicy as hell sex compared to her because he orgasms. Sexperts and psychologists and regular old people simply don't recognize or understand this, but that is the story here and it's, like I said above, a tale as old as time, and one that exists in probably almost every home where a man and woman have been fucking for any length of time. 

The Vulva Rating

Because I so rarely see a random hook-up that involves such a beautifully equitable sex act for both parties, this will be getting a good rating. Plus, I like the the whole storyline with this couple. It is real, and I think we see this woman recognizing the bullshitness of her sexual situation, and I like that. This gets 4 1/2 vuvlas.

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