Random Hite Report #24
Hello, welcome again to one of my favorite segments on the SSL blog, Random Hite Report! It's simple really. I flip through the pages of the The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality (or sometimes The Hite Report on Male Sexuality) by a one Ms. Shere Hite and copy the contents of the page where I land - no more no less. Anyone who reads my blog will know that this 1976 book is a fave of mine; not only because of its realistic and progressive insight about the female orgasm that is still shockingly relevant 40 years later, but also because of its very touching insight into the lives of the women who took part in this huge, comprehensive survey. This is an under-appreciated and under-read book if you ask me - I suggest you buy it online (seriously, you can get them for like 1 cent) and read it.
So, sit back, getcha a beverage, and enjoy a little...Random Hite Report...you never know what yer gonna get!
The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality Dell. 1976.
Pg. 337 From chapter "CLitoral Stimulation" in the section 'Feelings About Clitoral Stimulation.' These are answers to the question "Do you feel embarrassed asking for clitoral stimulation?Do you feel your partner is sacrificing to give it to you?"
...one man so that he managed to Get It. The others just could never grasp it, evidently, or I was too shy to get the point across clearly."
"He was furious the last time I asked him to stimulate me (as it stopped his readiness to 'dive in'). He's really timid and clumsy and too unsure for me to risk spoiling another evening by coaching. So I accept him this way (it's really okay)."
"I ask for it sometimes even though it's embarrassing - and then it's hard to be specific on what you like, and you feel like a nut in being so limited in what turns you on."
"I don't think I ever asked for what I wanted . I just thought some guys knew and some didn't, and it was very exciting when they did. I always was intimidated by the concept of a controlling and/or castrating women - it was holy writ to me not to make a guy feel inadequate (a result of my intellectual male friends and my psychoanalyst), and to suggest that he do something more or different would have been to appear to suggest that he wasn't adequate. Now the women's movement has helped me to be outspoken. I ask for what i want in all sorts of situations - church, work, the supermarket, local government - and in bed."
"It used to be embarrassing , but then my partner and I learned how to touch each other by oral instructions. Dialogue goes like this: me: 'What would you like?' 'Touch my penis.' 'How hard?' 'Harder.' 'Like this or this?' 'The second way.' 'What else?' Touch the tip.' 'How?' 'Rub gently.' 'Like this or this?', etc. I really insisted that he be literal and use all the words. The we reversed it. I had a hard time asking him to touch my breasts or clitoris. Now it is easier, but still hard to suggest something new."
"No, i don't ask for it usually. That would be embarrassing to me and is something I know I must struggle with. If I can tell them a foot massage feels wonderful, why not feelings related to sex??? I'm trying though, and it's getting better. If my friend ever reads these answers I'm writing you, it'll be a long night, but it'll be worth it!"