SNL Penis Rap S41 Ep11: The SSL Review
This is an SSL Review of a skit called "At the Club" During Ronda Rousey's hosting in 2016. (You can find it HERE) For those who aren't familiar, here's the deets: SSL Reviews are only done for scenes that include depictions and/or discussions of female orgasm and/or masturbation. It doesn't necessarily say anything about the overall quality of a film or TV show - just those depictions/discussions. I'm looking for physical realism (is the physical thing happening to a woman while she orgasms actually a thing that could cause orgasm in women?), and I'm also looking for what part the scene plays in our cultural conversation about female orgasm and sexuality. So, thems the basics. If you want more TV SSL Reviews head HERE. Want some movie SSL reviews? Go HERE.
SNL Penis Size Skit (At The Club)
I have to say, I was super disappointed with this skit. It's getting a low vulva rating. Plus, I think they lost comic value by being status quo, but let me start in.
The story
So, there are 3 women at a club ( Aidy Bryant, Kate McKinnon and Ronda Rousy). They get approached by 3 men (Jay Pharoah, Taran Killam, and Beck Bennett). The ladies are all like, 'see ya. we're doing a girls night thing.' and then the guys are all over confident and like. 'I ain't worried if you're interested. We checking to see if you can handle us.' One guy, Beck Bennet, is clearly nerdier and less smooth than the other two.
Then the 2 smoother dudes start rapping exclusively about how big their dicks are and say things like, "Got a D so big you can ride it like a boat. Throw it on the water, walk over it like a mote." and "I've heard people say mine's too much. I pulled it out my pants and I play double dutch."
There are cuts from time to time to the women, and we see them getting a little interested. Aidy Bryant even sexily purses her lips at them a little.
Then Beck Bennet starts in and says, "Don't worry about mine, I'll go down on you."
It cuts right to the women who look at him, like, what the fuck? They are all confused and kind grossed out. Then it cuts to his friends looking at him like, WTF? The two smooth guys continue to rap about their big dicks and between their parts Beck Bennet cuts in with the following lines:
"What if I just go down on you, and I don't take my pants of?"
"I throw you on the bed, my pants are on. My shirt is on. My hat is on. My socks are on. My jacket's on. Blurred Lines!"
"When I pull off my pants there's another pair of pants. Pants on. No negotiation."
"We've been doing all the talking. Let's let her talk. Like, what's your favorite fashion and way to dance? Is it bell bottoms and the boogie woogie or a satin blouse and the cha cha cha?"
He even pops in right after one of the guys sings about his massive penis and says, "must be nice."
After all his lines, there is a cut to the women who are clearly not liking what he is saying. Aidy Bryant shakes her head 'no' at one point. and later says to him, "You're not even trying to rhyme." To which he replies, "I am trying!"
Toward the end, he just stops rapping and kinda mumbles, "I got a great job, I'll go down on you. What are we even..." He trails off and it cuts to the girls really unimpressed then back to him, where he says, "I don't love it, but I'll do it."
At the end, his friends and the women walk away from him, and he kinda desperately says to a random women walking by, "I got a small penis, but I'll go down on you."
My Thoughts
Okay, this is technically not eligible for an SSL review because it doesn't specifically talk about female orgasm or masturbation, but I'm reviewing because I think it actually insinuates heavily about female orgasm and I think it definitely places itself in the cultural conversation about female orgasm.
So, the insinuation with this skit was that big dicks are a way to entice women sexually. I'm not going to dog on that because hey - big dicks can be kinda fun for things. They look pretty, at least. But the skit further insinuates something problematic, I would argue, and that is that big dicks also give women orgasms. I say this because the guy who has a small dick gives his willingness to go down as an alternative to having a big dick. Kinda like he's saying he clearly can't satisfy them with his dick, but he can satisfy them with his mouth.
Let me say a few things:
Women don't orgasm through stimulation inside their vagina (seriously - maybe a few women out there do, but scientists haven't actually identified them yet). The insinuation that women do orgasm this way might come from a disturbingly common cultural assumption, but it's actually quite inaccurate, backward, and harmful to female orgasm
Why were the women turning their noses up at a dude going down on them? Getting ate out is almost universally known to be awesome, but yet when it's going up against the possibility of intercourse with a big dick, it's like WAY lesser for some reason? That's some intercourse-centric bullshit. That comes from the sad and strangely deep feeling in our culture that real sex is intercourse and that it is hands down the best sex for all involved...which is completely counter intuitive to the uncontroversial truth that over 70% of women have NEVER orgasmed from intercourse. So, nice job keeping the terrible shit stain of a sexual status quo, SNL skit.
Let me go back to this offer of a fully clothed man going down on you. So, this is not good? A woman would not want to leave a club with a dude who would make her come with his mouth and then not want to show her his stranger-danger dick??? She would not want to set back all satisfied and glad she didn't have to even worry about some sweaty dude assuring her he'll make her come with his dick, pounding on her for far too long because he drank a little too much and can barely get it up much less come in a timely manner? That's bullshit. I refer you to Bridget Everett's brilliantly hilarious, song, 'Put Your Dick Away.'
If a D is so big you can ride it like a boat, IT'S TOO BIG. Ain't no lady got time for that. Ain't no lady want to get with a dude trying to have a good time, but end up spending the night trying to contort her body so that he can't get his giganto dick in far enough to further bruise her cervix.
The joke about guys having a small dick not being satisfying to ladies is not only inaccurate, but it's tired comedy. Let me put forth a better, more realistic, more fresh, and more funny direction this skit could have gone. It starts as before with the dudes rap-bragging about their giganto dicks and then instead of tired small dick jokes, it moves to a guy bragging about his average dick; about how comfortably he would fit, and how he would not bang their cervixes til they couldn't walk, and how actually he'll probably just jerk himself off while he eats her out, so the size of his dick doesn't really matter anyway...and other things like that. I'm sure starting from the premise, the SNL writers could come up with better stuff than I just did in 5 minutes. Anyway, my point is small dick jokes are usually stupid and kinda not on-point and there's better comedy out there.
The Vulva Rating
So, this SNL skit gets 1 vuvla. I am only giving a vulva out because there is some talk about eating out, and no matter the context I'll generally support that slightly. But otherwise, this song reinforced a misguided and wholey inaccurate sexual status quo that says intercourse is the ultimate in sexual interactions and that the bigger the dick the the more interested in and satisfied with it the ladies will be. And, it wasn't great comedy.
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